Note: when I say "journey" I mean shamanic journey, the form of meditation shamanic practitioners do. There are shamanic journeys
Journey 7/2/08
In the garden on Oak Street. I circled round Gaia Tree, singing the Sovereign Song and the Warrior Song. I went to stand I the Fairy Ring, going down to the Cottage in the Forest and the Spring. The Warriors and Brigid and the Damsels and the Council of Elderwomen were there.
It’s hard to describe what happened next. It was a shift of internal feeling more than something that happened or was said by the spirits. The change was that I felt like myself, no more, no less. That all I have to do is be myself, and I will always be centered. Instead of worrying about what I’m going to do, just be.
Sometimes when people say “just be”, it seems to imply not doing any tasks, removing yourself from normal life and mysteriously smiling. But what I realized is more “wherever you go, there you are.” Or more precisely, it’s not about going somewhere else or doing something else or needing to become someone else. It’s about how more of you can be present in every action you take. It’s about being proud and happy and at peace with who you are, and showing that to the world.
Fear comes when you are focused on what you do instead of being who you are. The fear I have been feeling in the last few days is that the things I am doing will fail, that they will not be accepted. My fear was, “Then what will become of me? What will I do? Who will I be?” But if I am just myself acting in each moment, none of that matters. It doesn’t matter if I “fail”, because I will still be here. I can never be destroyed.
Best of all, being is so simple. You just have a sense of True Self. It is a very calm place. It’s a shift of focus, not a change in what you’re doing. You just focus on the person (yourself in this case) rather than on the task they are doing. It’s very thoughtful, kind, humanistic.
Reflecting on it, it reminds me of the way my husband Fred treated everyone. It was his secret, the reason people loved him so much. He saw the person, not just someone doing a task.
As I sat with this energy, I realized that from this calm, centered place of self-love and self-knowing, it is clear who one needs as a partner. This is the place where you attract all the things you need. Yet you feel perfectly complete without them, and you integrate the things you need into the True Self.
I went through Brother-Sister Pines to Journey Center. I saw Patrick and Urda there. I was wearing the Garment of Life, and I saw the design on it, it was the lightening flash, Sowelo in the Runes, I believe it’s called. They could both feel how I had changed, and they rejoiced with me.
I returned to ordinary reality, feeling transformed. I thanked the spirits and the Mystic Law.
